Lately people have been asking me how they can find out if their bathroom is manly enough. Well actually, that's a complete lie. No one has ever asked me that question before, but I did ask myself that the other day and here's what I came up with. Here are a few things I think every man should have in their bathroom.
Lets start with the most important thing in a man's bathroom....the toilet. I'm gonna recommend this comfy crapper. I'm not sure who makes it, but I definitely want one.
And when a man is done with his toilet duties, there's nothing cooler then wiping his ass with black toilet paper. It adds an element of sophistication to the otherwise animalistic process.
But, just in case you didn't have to poo and you just came in for a man tinkle, it would be awesome to pee in this thing.
Moving on...I personally don't think men should ever take a bath but that being said, I would consider a bubble bath if the tub was shaped like a bottle of beer. I know the picture below is of a sink but i'm sure they can adapt this to a larger object. It would be glorious!
Oh, and whether its for a tub or shower, these camouflage curtains would add a little zest to any mans bathroom.
Don't forget to use your genius towel to dry yourself off!
Try to aim properly people! We want to avoid ruining the floor of the bathroom....especially if it's made of a mosaic of beer bottle caps. I'm so happy things like this exist.
Ok! Let's say you finished your shit and your shower...the next step is the shave, and general grooming. So you walk up to your awesome sink....
and you proceed to shave with your 13 inch Bowie Knife named after Colonel James "Jim" Bowie.
Real men wouldn't use aftershave, but in case you severely cut yourself it's acceptable to splash a little gasoline on your face. So it's always a good idea to have a little handy.
Then all that's left is to brush your teeth with a piece of wood with grass as bristles ...
Or at the least a brush with a wooden handle.
Don't forget to use your Bacon flavored toothpaste. I have no idea why this exists, but I'm pretty sure there's been a sudden increase in good oral health since its creation.
And since you have the taste of bacon in your mouth, you might as well wash your hands with it and leave the bathroom happy.
Those are the bare necessities of a mans bathroom for day to day use, but every bathroom still stores "just in case" items and I made a small list of those as well:
Like this stool that you might have the need to sit on once in a while. It's comfortable and has a special dedicated area for the family jewels.
Bacon Condoms... enough said.
A solid bug out bag is essential, because you never know when you'll need to make a run for it. If you're mid-deuce and a bomb goes off on your block, there's no time to think. You grab your bug out bag from the bathroom cabinet and go.
It should be full of essentials like rope, beans, a compass and a gun.
So ya...there you have it. Everything you need in your manly bathroom.