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Fantasy Football

Here at Arka, we love us some artsy fartsy stuff, but we are human (or are we gods?!?!?!?!) which means we also enjoy the finer things in life - men tackling each other in tights and head gear.  I'm talking about football, you sick minded people.  We love the challenges, the sacrifices, and the competitiveness behind it.  And by "it" I mean fantasy football.  Even if you don't care for football, competing in a fantasy football league will get you to like certain players or teams and bring you joy and much pain.  Only an unsuccessful fantasy player who loses by less than a point in the championship match, like myself, will say that.  I've lost sleep because of losing.  It's pretty frustrating.

It's been about 10 years now that I've been playing fantasy football and I haven't been so miserable and ecstatic in my life.  It is a huge release from work, to check in on your fantasy team every so often and look for any updates on your players or who is talking trash to who.  Gamedays are incredibly hectic.  Every fantasy football team owner is nervous and worried about how their team is going to do.  I'm a train wreck when my guys are playing because anything can happen.  My friends, who don't play fantasy football, enjoy watching me more than the games as I pace back and forth wondering about how my team is going to perform.  A beer or two just makes matters worse as I only begin to curse and get mad at how my team is so unlucky, since I'm not convinced that they just flat out suck.

This year I'm only in two leagues, where I sit in 1st and last place.  Definitely a roller coaster ride that is making me vomit all over the crowd at the carnival.  The way those kids in "The Sandlot" threw up on everyone while riding that whirling-twirling thingy.  Yeah, I say thingy.  Anyways, I'm pretty confident with my teams, even the last place one, because I've got a good core but they aren't producing like I imagined they would.  The only bad thing about losing, besides for losing money, is not being able to talk trash.  That's a big reason why I play.  Especially because it's just messing around for the most part.  No one takes fantasy football trash talk seriously, at least I hope they don't.  I think I'll be victorious this year though.  At least in one of my leagues.  I better be or else I'll pretty upset at myself for setting such high expectations of my teams.  Alright, back to work boys and girls.

Hauk Vagner